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I have, under my desk at work, a pair of slippers. Comfy, white, towelling slippers, piflered at some point from a Stamford somewhere around Australia.

Why? Because they are comfortable. If my feet are happy then the rest of me is relaxed. My brain works better. One of my colleagues says ‘Wow, you look like a newsreader: elegance up top, purebred dag at the foot end.’ I gave my boss a pair of office slippers.

But I am happy. So, I say unto you all: make next week ‘Wear Office Slippers Week’. It will change your life. Report back to me next Friday … off you go, I’ll wait. Maybe get a coffee, a cherry danish … mmm, cherry danish.

Any of these are good:

 

 

 

 

These ones, not so much:

 

Where’s My Jetpack?

This guy’s got it and he’s putting it in the water!! Buzz Lightyear FAIL.

http://au.news.yahoo.com/queensland/a/-/world/6517727/jetman-rescued-after-ditching-into-the-sea/

Marshall Payne interviews John Kessel – awesome sauce.

John Kessel has been publishing short fiction since 1978 and since then has gone on to make his mark in the field of SF/F. He won a Nebula Award in 1982 for his novella “Another Orphan,” and more recently (2009) for his novelette “Pride and Prometheus,” a story melding the tales of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice and Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. With friend and writer James Patrick Kelly he has edited three anthologies, included the just released The Secret History of Science Fiction. Since 1982 he has taught American literature, science fiction, fantasy and fiction writing at North Carolina State University in Raleigh. I’m a pleased to offer this interview with one of the finest writers in the field of spec. fiction today.

Follow ze link http://marshallpayne1.livejournal.com/96692.html

The Call of Nature

Those of you who know me at all well will recall that I have a nodding acquaintance with Nature. That basically means I nod to it as I stand on a verandah with a gin and tonic in my hand, waiting for the cheese platter to arrive. I do not camp, I regard it as an unnatural and unnecessary activity.

But this is the last day at O’Reilly’s Rainforest Retreat and I thought I should walk somewhere other than from my room to the dining room then to the library and back again – particularly since I’ve eaten my own body weight in cheese, pastries, etc, each day. So I thought “I’ll go to the Wishing Tree”. I needed a bit of thinking time seeing as how a story I’d been working on decided it didn’t want to be written. I needed to work a few things out in my head, like how to wrestle the damned thing into submission. Everyone else had done the walk and said how lovely it was, and how much I’d hate myself if I didn’t do ‘something’ outdoorsy (proof that no one here really knows me). If nothing else, I could wish on the tree for a better story.

Nature and I are not pals. If Nature and I were the last two beings on Earth, there’d be a serious problem. But I strapped on my sneakers and headed off on the mossy path (with all the Little Red Riding Hood warnings in my head).

Here are some observations:

  1. The ‘liar’ [sic] bird is not a bird you meet in a bar who insists he’s footloose and fancy free, while there are in actual fact two child seats in his car.
  2. The elegant wallabies do not wear long black dresses like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, nor do they carry those long cigarette holders. They do, however, seem to wear mascara.
  3. The paddymelons are in no way melony; nor do they like being referred to as ‘those rock-paddy-thingies’.
  4. People who are bird enthusiasts do not like to be referred to as ‘bird nerds’.
  5. You will invariably wish that the Wishing Tree was a little closer.
  6. If you’re busy watching your feet and trying not to trip over rocks, vines and the occasional well-intentioned serpent, you kinda miss some of the scenery.
  7. Rainforest is very green with brown bits … a bit like camouflage.
  8. When faced with a suspension bridge, a certain type of brain will immediately think ‘OMG, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom!’
  9. What goes down, must eventually have to walk up hill again unless airlifted out.
  10. If you have just finished reading VanderMeer’s Finch, then being alone in the forest and stumbling upon fungus and mushrooms can make you nervous.
  11. The moment I am faced with Nature, I immediately turn into Melman the Giraffe from Madagascar.

Words from the wise once again, Jeff VanderMeer on writerly despair:

Despair is a companion who keeps coming back to you no matter how far you’ve traveled along the path toward a sustainable Booklife. Things go wrong. What you have visualized does not come to pass. That opportunity you thought you had turns to dust. This is most difficult for beginning writers.

 The rest lives here http://booklifenow.com/2009/11/writer-despair-for-a-cheery-monday/#more-126 - read it and despair no more … or less … or something.

And this morning I finished reading Finch. I am still percolating it, but will blog-it soon.

Reading by Numbers

mathematics

Must. Mention. This. Story.

Reading by Numbers by my fellow Clarionite, Aidan Doyle, is over at Fantasy Magazine.

This story has a higher IQ than I do.

http://www.fantasy-magazine.com/2009/11/reading-by-numbers/

Yes, it’s my turn to blog for the QWC Blog Tour, mine, mine, all mine! Bwahahahahahha!

Now that I’ve got that out of my system, I am blogging atchya from the QWC Hachette Manuscript Development Program being held at O’Reilly’s Rainforest Retreat – which is at the very top of a mountain, at the end of a VERY TWISTY TURNY ROAD. When the driver said ‘Just another 11 km to go’, we discovered exactly how long 11km can feel. No one threw up except the driver! But it’s all good – lovely surroundings, quiet and relaxed, the perfect writers’ retreat. Participants are AWESOME, the Hachette Folk (Bernadette Foley, Kate Ballard, Rachel Donovan) and Cameron Cresswell agent Sophie Hamley, were all superb, and our ‘writer-in-residence’ Bec Sparrow is generous,  knowledgeable and an excellent avatar of the space coyote*.

And so, to the questions QWC have asked me to answer:

Where do your words come from?
Erk. I don’t know. I guess when something catches my imagination/interest I start telling myself a story in my head. I see it like a film, then translate it into words. That’s the part I like, that translation process, thinking to myself how can I best describe this to capture how it appears to me? How can I communicate that to someone else? A great experience I had recently was seeing the stills from a short film that’s been made of one of my stories – and one of the charactcers looked exactly as I’d imagined her in my head. Could have been a coincidence, but I like to flatter myself that I did my job as a writer right in the first place. :-)

Where did you grow up and where do you live now?
I was born in Cairns, grew up in Ipswich, Longreach, Cairns again and then Brisbane. I’ve lived parts of my adult life in Brisbane, London, Sydney and the Negev Desert. I currently reside in Brisneyland, which is a pretty river city. I live in a leafy suburb, in an old house with a back deck and a giant jacaranda tree in the backyard, and an overgrown jasmine bush on the front fence that smells great when it’s in bloom and looks delightfully unkempt.

What’s the first sentence/line of your latest work?
My short story collection: “Why are you so dark, Ella?”
My novel: “They buried the Damascene Witches in the sand.”

What piece of writing do you wish you had written?
Aaaaahhhh. Angela Carter’s The Bloody Chamber? Wilbur Smith’s The Sunbird? Kelly Link’s Magic for Beginners? Margo Lanagan’s Singing My Sister Down? Anything from Steve Almond’s My Life in Heavy Metal. Richard Brautigan’s Coffee or The Weather in San Francisco.

What are you currently working towards?
At the micro-level? Finishing Sourdough and Other Stories and getting it off to a publisher; rewriting the novel, Well of Souls and starting to shop it around. At the macro-level, arranging my life so I can be a fulltime writer.

Complete this sentence… The future of the book is…
Mysterious and exciting. We’re seeing the book in so many news forms: ebooks, mobile phone downloads, interactive or augmented reality novels. The content is the same, but we have new ‘containers’ as well as the old version of the book as artefact. It’s books, Jim, but not as we know it! :-)

This post is part of the Queensland Writers Centre blog tour, happening October to December 2009. To follow the tour, visit Queensland Writers Centre’s blog The Empty Page.

Hyperlink: http://www.qwc.asn.au/Resources/TheEmptyPageBlog.aspx

* Yes, it’s a Simpsons’ reference … I see the world through a Simpsons’ filter … and sometimes a Star Trek filter.

Where Am I?

Or rather, where will I be? At the QWC Hachette Manuscript Development program this weekend, as the QWC rep and person who makes good useful things happen and stops bad unhelpful things from happening. And hopefully I won’t get them mixed up.

We’re at O’Reilly’s http://www.oreillys.com.au/ until Wednesday morning, talking to publishers from Hachette Australia, an agent from Cameron Creswell, with writer Bec Sparrow as our ‘Here’s one we prepared earlier’ author to give advice and guidance … rather in the manner of Homer’s spirit guide, the Celestial Coyote. With less chilli and insanity peppers, more rainforest.

There will be writing, there will be talking, there will be learning, there will be developing of manuscripts, there will be food. There will be the chance to *be* writers for 4.5 days with no interruptions from the Real World (TM).

On Monday I will be doing a post for the QWC Blog Tour, following in the footsteps of such luminaries as Peter Ball, Katherine Battersby, Jason Fischer, Lee McGowan and Chris Bongers.

If You Build It, They Won’t Come: A Guide to Author Websites over at Publishing Trends http://www.publishingtrends.com/2008/12/if-you-build-it-they-wont-come-a-guide-to-author-websites/ brings sobering news for the Luddites among us … and it’s useful.

To be on the Web or not to be on the Web—sorry, technophobic authors, that’s no longer the question. Rather, what should be on your website and how can you draw traffic to it? There’s no universal key to success. But with help from a recent groundbreaking report and four web designers who specialize in author sites, we’ve come up with some guidelines.

See full size image

And anyone who knows me will tell you how offensive I can be … but also charming, when I put my mind to it. What is rare is wonderful …

However, it’s not really a charm offensive and it’s not really about me … I just really liked the title … of course, I have a headache so my taste could be off, just a little. But anyway, it’s about Strange Tales III edited by Rosalie Parker from lovely Tartarus Press. T’is available for pre-order now from here http://www.tartaruspress.com/stftthree.htm (why, yes, that is grammatically awful). Tartarus Press books are beautiful things, with hard covers, dust jackets and silk ribbons to mark your place – pretty on the bookshelf and eminently strokeable. I like this quote from Damien G. Walter at The Guardian:

“When first encountered, the publications of Tartarus Press seem almost as numinous as the supernatural tales they contain. The simple elegance of their presentation. . . jacketed in uniform cream covers with only minimal decoration, recall an earlier age when books were as rare and treasured as jewels.

“These are not commodities to be piled high on three-for-two tables, but rarities which remain hidden unless sought out . . . The stories hoarded in their pages are so little known you might be forgiven for wondering if you have dreamed them. The Triumph of Night and Other Tales by Edith Wharton. The Supernatural Tales of HG Wells. The Lost Poetry of William Hope Hodgson. And dozens of other titles by authors both famous and obscure which taken as a whole form a secret library, a catalogue of weird fiction from its roots in Victorian Britain through to the modern day.” 

My story in this collection is based on one I used to torment my poor sister with when we were kids – see, even then I was telling stories (and tormenting people).

Blurby Goodness:
The strange tale is alive and well and flourishing at the beginning of the twenty-first century. These seventeen brand new stories, representing the very best of contemporary weirdness, range from the mythical terror of Adam Golaski’s ‘The Great Blind God Passing Through Us’, to John Gaskin’s assured ghost story, ‘Party Talk’, in which an elderly lady tells her disturbing tale.

Circus folk take in an abandoned girl with unforeseen consequences in Nina Allen’s Machenian ‘The Lammas Worm’. In ‘Countess Otho’, Reggie Oliver’s actor protagonist finds success after he inherits the manuscript of an unproduced play: but what is the precise cause, and the price, of his new found fame? The curator of a dream museum has an interesting appointment in Mark Valentine’s ‘Morpheus House’, while in ‘Her Father’s Daughter’, Simon Strantzas thoroughly subverts the familiar horror trope of a young woman seeking help at an isolated farmhouse.

These and more await the reader of Strange Tales III:

‘The Lammas Worm’ – Nina Allan

‘Morpheus House’ – Mark Valentine

‘Sanctuary Run’ – Daniel Mills

‘A Woman of the Party’ – Elizabeth Brown

‘The Good, Light People’ – Gary McMahon

‘Countess Otho’ – Reggie Oliver

‘Melting’ – A.J. McIntosh

‘It’s White and It Follows Me’ – Tina Rath

‘Yet No Greater Love of Promise’ – Joel Knight

‘Divan Method’ – Eric Stener Carlson

‘Party Talk’ – John Gaskin

‘The Other Box’ – Gerard Houarner

‘The Great Blind God Passed Through Us’ – Adam Golaski

‘Her Father’s Daughter’ – Simon Strantzas

‘Sister, Sister’ – Angela Slatter

‘A Taste of Casu Marzu’ – David Rix

‘The Solipsist’ – Philbampus

 

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